10/16

If you asked me now what general feeling I had for myself, I would answer you with

        “Perfectly adequate.”

Because each morning I wake up at the last precious minute and arrive at work at the last possible second and look half-asleep for more than half the day.  But at the very least, regularly bathed.  Because I do just as much work as is necessary and not a single thing more.  Because, sure, I may have God-given talents the way all of us do, but they mostly wait around to be paid attention to.  Because sometimes when I get dressed for the day I realize that the shirt I just put on is a shirt I’ve been putting on since I was 16 and now I’m 22 and don’t talk to hardly any of the same people and don’t feel very much like the same person at all.

Because I’m not missing any marks or spacing any deadlines. Because I’m fulfilling expectations.  But I’m certainly not exceeding them.

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7 thoughts on “10/16

  1. you never cease to amaze me with your words. you're the awesomest! i swear we must meet someday.

    i would describe myself as adequate; not perfectly adequate. because for me being adequate isn't ever going to be enough therefore it isn't perfect and so if i follow that train of thought for awhile i don't even think i'm adequate. just a major work in progress.

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  2. lady, i feel like i understand this. kind of in the same boat. i have decided to not serve a mission, and instead finish school. it has been a long process, but it is a decision i feel good about, and i have finally begun to tell my family and friends about my decision. now i am just waiting. waiting for my life to start. i feel like i am stuck in this in between stage.

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