Hi, I’m Megan.

But, legally, Meghan.  I’m in limbo with the spelling of my name, which, for some reason that I can’t put my finger on, seems to epitomize my life right now.

So, hi, I’m Megan or Meghan.  I haven’t decided yet.  And I have no personality.  Seriously, I don’t think it’s there.

And I wore this pair of shoes today that I bought a few years ago with one of my oldest friends on one of those afternoons with her where there was nothing better than a DI run.

The shoes were a big mistake.  Not when I bought them, but today they’re a mistake.  And I think I’m going to listen to Drew this time and actually get rid of them.  Because I hate the way they hurt my unreasonably high arches that I got from my dad, and the way they scuff up my heels, and the way that they make loud noises when I walk and draw attention to me when I want nothing of the sort.

I have a way of stating my opinion as fact that other people seem to find inconsiderate and off-putting.  And I blame my English teachers and my family for it.  But those are the people in my life that I’ve always loved the most, so what does that say about me?

I don’t appreciate the way that this headset I wear five days a week flattens my hair.  I don’t appreciate this headset at all.  Even though I should because it’s basically my livelihood, regardless of how unfulfilling that fact is.

I don’t appreciate the way that I can’t breathe out of my nose, either.  Because then I’m left with breathing out of my mouth, which is the worst thing.  The worst, and I mean that this time.  Or I can try to breathe out my nose and make horrible sounds that I doubt my co-workers appreciate at all.  And it isn’t as if I can’t breathe out of my nose for a real reason, like sickness, where I could take a day off of work or something.  No, it’s just allergies.  Which is a legitimate reason to be miserable, but not a legitimate reason to do anything about it.

I don’t appreciate the way I’ve felt off lately.  Only, not the typical kind of off that’s caused by ovaries.  This off feels different and infinitely more unsettling than that.  But I’m hoping that, by next week at the latest, I find that this really wasn’t a different kind of off at all.

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14 thoughts on “Hi, I’m Megan.

  1. ” No, it's just allergies. Which is a legitimate reason to be miserable, but not a legitimate reason to do anything about it.”
    that's been my case all week.

    i love this post.

    Like

  2. “I have a way of stating my opinion as fact that other people seem to find inconsiderate and off-putting. And I blame my English teachers and my family for it. But those are the people in my life that I've always loved the most, so what does that say about me?”

    This is perfect. I blame my teachers for my lack of a filter. They are also why I stick to my guns and remain unafraid of my emotions. I like that about myself, to a point, I guess.

    I've felt off lately too. I'm getting pretty sick of that feeling. I hope a change happens in the next few days for all of us and we can get back to normalcy.

    Em
    Tightrope to the Sun

    Like

  3. Allergies can suck it big time. I seem to have them constantly, and it's a little too far on the side of life-ruining. I hope yours subside soon!

    What is your job, exactly, may I ask?

    Like

  4. Definitely life-ruining. Drugs help though!

    You can totally ask, and I'll even answer. I work at a credit card security company. We help business owner validate with their merchant banks that they handle credit card information in a safe manner. Riveting, I know. It's a desk job. I take some calls, make some calls, input data, etc. I shouldn't complain but still do sometimes.

    Like

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