By the time I was twelve, my family had moved eight times.  I was fed-up.  I had just left yet another elementary school, where I had finally gained substantial popularity by doing super cool flips off of the swings.  And I was this close to actually “going out” with Stu, whom I had been pursuing all year long. 

Now I had to start all over again.  I was sick of it.  So I wrote a poem and it helped.

Writing: my main coping mechanism since 2003.

Until last year, I had pretty much written nothing but generally depressing and extremely vague monologues.  Like this.  There were also the overwhelming amount of poetry written concerning my pathetic, hormonally-marinated, chronically broken heart.  Like this.

After a while, I decided that I wanted to try writing different things.  You know, the kind of things that people might actually read and enjoy.  So I wrote this post, and made a goal.  I sincerely wanted to better my writing, expand my abilities.  Tell my stories.  Connect with others.

After that came a horrendous string of some pretty awful experiments. 

I recently went through my archives, often finding myself thinking, “Who wrote this?  It’s terrible!”  Followed by deleting and editing in order to save some dignity, because this is on the internet, this stuff. 

But the main thing I’ve gathered is that I’m a better writer today than I was a year ago, and that was the whole point.  If you write someone a pillow, they will sleep on it.  I’ve started learning to cut the fluff, I think, which has always been a challenge for me.

Throwing any thought that pops into your mind at paper is a great way to stay creative, but the truth of the matter is that not all of those thoughts are going to be worth keeping around.  Sometimes you just need to scrap the crap.


13 thoughts on “07/31/13

  1. This is so true. It's a challenge some times… because, as an amateur artist, it's so tempting to want to keep everything you create, regardless of its quality. Butyeah, I think you are doing a good job! Because I really have enjoyed what you've written lately 🙂


  2. P.S. I replied to your comment on my blog, but I'm really not sure if Blogger will tell you that or not. So, to be clear, yes, the writing I put up was based on something real in my life, but I'm not a huge wreck emotionally because of it. You know how it is… sometimes when you write what you feel it sounds a whole lot more dramatic than it actually is.


  3. Oh, thank you for telling me because blogger totally did not let me know! What a jerk. I don't know what it depends on, gets frustrating.

    Anyway, yes, I know what you mean 100%. After writing anything that isn't shiny and happy, people tend to freak out. Offer you anti-depressant medication and stuff. But, still, I hope you're getting through whatever it is that happened.


  4. “If you write someone a pillow, they will sleep on it.”

    I'm sorry. What even…? Is this sentence real life? I LOVE this! I know how you feel about writing. I look at some of the stuff I wrote last year and just lower my head in slow shame. It's amazing what time will do to a person without their knowledge.

    It's also amazing how much better writing gets when you do it every day. It's the weirdest and coolest thing.

    PS. Does blogger every tell people that their comments have been replied to? I've never once been alerted when a comment I leave has been replied to on a blog. I only see it if I get an email reply. Oh blogger, you tricksy temptress.

    Tightrope to the Sun


  5. Hahaha. I love this. And the scary thing is, the things I write now, as I'm writing them I'm repeatedly telling myself I will hate it in two weeks. And the things I wrote last year I don't like now. It's freaky because you know it's always getting better so obviously what you're writing will be considered bad later on. Haha. Am i even making sense? It made sense in my head.

    Anyways, for the record, your writing is my favorite. And by the time I was eleven we had moved seven times. However I'm homeschooled and it didn't bother me, in fact I loved it. And can you still do flips off the swing? I can hardly jump off the swing let alone risk breaking my neck flipping off of it. Sheesh. ha


  6. Scrap the crap, LOL. You're right: the weird thing about writing is that you have to do it (and do it horribly) to improve. Think of all of those old posts as drafts that got you to where you are today. 🙂

    Oh, and this made my day:
    “I had just left yet another elementary school, where I had finally gained substantial popularity by doing super cool flips off of the swings.”



  7. Sometimes I get an email. But I'm not sure why I do and other times I don't. It makes no sense! I feel like Blogger could step up their game in that area.

    I mean, we put a man on the moon, but we can't be notified when our comment is replied to?


  8. You make complete sense! It's a paradox because you know you're going to hate it one day, but you have to write crappy things to write better things.

    And hopefully we all can write enough things we don't like to write something we do like.


  9. I love Scrap the Crap. I will have to think about this whenever I write!
    I have found myself looking at work from my past and wondering what I was thinking to even publish it on the internet. Though some of things I wrote in the past may be embarrassing, It's encouraging to look back it and see that I've matured more spiritually, emotionally and my writing abilities.


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