I’ve never dealt with the death of a loved one.  Not really.

There have been a few aunts and uncles who passed away, but I was much younger at the time.  It was always a sad thing, especially watching the way it affected my parents.  But I’ve never felt that weight of realization that I won’t be able to see, touch or talk to this person for the rest of my earthly life.  I’ve never suffered such a loss.

But, of course, I know that death is inevitable.  And this terrifies me.

The other day, I  had a thought.  It was only for a short moment, but it was a clear idea that came and went through my brain.  I was thinking that my life is so good, and my marriage is so fun.  And I love that Drew and I get to live close to our families, and see them often.

I was thinking about the promotion I applied for, and how I had felt really good about the interviews.  And how excited I am to buy a house and fix it up and plant some trees and let my roots grow deeper into this place I’ve come to love so much.

And then it came.  This thought.  If my life is going so well, and if I get the promotion, and if we end up moving into that adorable little house and things are just going too perfectly.  If all of these things happen, if everything goes as planned.  Then the universe probably won’t have any choice but to throw something terrible at me, will it?

Because that’s just how these things work.

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7 thoughts on “

  1. can we be more alike? i think not! i asked my mom that a few weeks ago. i had gotten back from el salvador, we had finally found a church, we had just gotten back from another trip, we bought a camper, started camping a lot, made lots of new friends, got to see our old friends again, and we found out the big news, i was like our high is so high, how low will the low be? it's scary. i hope this four day low is as low as it gets. i'm happy things are going great for you right now. 🙂 xx

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  2. haha, I've had these thoughts before too. I think a big part of it is in your perspective. If you were way more of a negative, depressing person, then you could probably find things in your life that made you unhappy or made the good things not seem so great. But because you are upbeat and look for the positive, life is grand. It's a perspective that is gold when things do get rough. Because the truth is, God is always blessing us, even when there is hard stuff. We just need the right perspective.

    How DID the promotion turn out?? I'm so curious to know if you got the job or not! And the house status! I want to move out so badly that I get overly excited for anyone else who gets to! haha.

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  3. You're so very right. I feel like even trials are blessings, because they teach us submission to God's will instead of our own. Which is basically something I have to RE-learn every single day. It's just a family member is having some health problems right now, so I'm sort of freaking out a little bit. But it will all be okay! Thank you for the reminder.

    It's pretty funny that you called me and upbeat person. I guess not funny, because I'm more that way now. But I used to be really depressing, so it surprised me! In a good way. haha anyway…

    The job: haven't heard anything yet. They're taking for-ever to decide. Which, apparently, is normal for the people here. I sure do not get it. I wish they'd put me out of my misery.

    House hunt: We have an offer in on one right now, and are working on closing the deal! I just haven't said anything cause I don't wanna get my hopes up. But you can count on my posting a few hundred pictures once we do get into a house! Maybe you should move out with some friends? No?

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  4. Probably not! You're my sister from another mister. And misses. haha. But seriously, I think we think a lot the same. Kind of freaky!

    I hope your low is as low as it gets, too. and still so excited about that big news!!

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  5. life does always seem to throw us a curveball right when things seem to be going fine and dandy.
    but don't worry, it doesn't always happen that way. i think that everything we go through in life is to teach us and grow us. we may not see the reason for it now, but there certainly is one.

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  6. Man, I feel ya. When everything seems to be going right, something awful happens. I guess that is just life. And it's awful. I've gone through a lot of grief in my life, but God got my family and I through it. I think it's a matter of just crying out to Him when you're in really rough times. But it's still really, really hard.

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  7. blahhhhhhhhh i hope everything works out perfectly for you, meg, and you get the house and you get the promotion and everything goes good. but also, if it doesn't, it might be cliche: but it was meant to be, you know? at least that's what i always tell myself. and i don't always understand it i just go with it. hope you're having a great weekend 🙂

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